4 Self-Defeating Attitudes That Stand in the Way of Happiness

Change can come quickly but more often it’s a gradual process in which we endure and learn many lessons. I don’t want to feel like this anymore so I have to start changing my attitudes.

Attitudes I’m Changing

1. I’m a waste of time.

Not true. I make a difference simply by being; and because I’m a strict vegetarian and an environmental and animal welfare campaigner, I know I make a positive difference. My close friends wouldn’t consider me a waste of time. Even though I find it difficult to believe sometimes, they do value my ideas and opinions and they love my company.

2. Nothing that I do is good enough.

My ideas of perfection aren’t mine; those ideas belong to other people. How can I ever live up to someone else’s perfection? I can’t. There are many things I can do with great success, but in order to make those achievements real for me, I have to define my own perfection: peanut butter on toast, growing my own fruit and vegetables, the smell of freshly baked vegan cookies, writing off the cuff and producing lucid prose.

3. I deserve pain.

No, I don’t. Nobody does. There’s a difference between accepting responsibility for how you think about hurtful things other people have done, and taking the blame for those actions. I’ve not done anything to deserve the things that have happened to me.

4. I’ll never be happy.

Not with that attitude I won’t, but then aren’t I already happy? I may not have all the things I want yet, like my dream job, but I do have a lot of other things in my life that mean a lot to me: my friends, my home, my cat, my family, waking up to the river every morning, my floating garden (I live on a boat), my creativity.
Happiness comes from the small things—it comes from inside of me. I don’t buy happiness or find it or receive it; I make it, for myself and others.
The fact that people sometimes hurt other people won’t change. My attitudes that have left me open to suffering —my attitudes—will change.

Recent Stories