"Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful." Thich Nhat Hanh
Our physical selves are reflections of our true selves. If we work to stay emotionally and mentally balanced and strong, it has the same effect on our appearance as weightlifting or running.
Beauty is something everyone is only a honest conversation and a smile away from. When we smile out of joy, it is different than when we smile for a camera. We might not all be fashionable or trendy, but the expression of inner happiness and love is timeless and can not be recreated.
Below are a few of the behaviors and thoughts that are eliminating your beauty. These formations sneak into our life and give us frowns and fatigue. This leads to wrinkles and regrets, once you have these they are hard to get rid of. Proactive action is a better form of treatment. You deserve to be as happy and radiant as you can be!
1.Everything's A Competition With You
You feel compelled to compare yourself to everyone else. All that matters is that you are being viewed in a more favorable light than someone else or that you are simply being seen. No one else is looking at life the same as you, the glory and recognition you seek, is in your head. You can tell when this urge is bringing out your ugly side when the prize and who the technical winner is no longer matters.
If you continue to try to one up the people in your life, you will find yourself alone after a short while. Since the emphasis is not on the betterment of the 'competitors' or marking a benchmark event, you are aiming to make everyone around you a 'loser'. Being a perpetual 'loser' is an unfair cost to be anyone's friend, no one will pay that toll for long.
2. You Are Rude
Without exception, everyone wants to feel respected. It's crucial for productive communication and growth. To figure out if you are being rude, you will need to be critically scrutinizing. It will help to have a perspective apart form your own, so grab a trusted friend. (One that doesn't sugar coat, if possible) Are people constantly calling you names, asking why you are doing things or constantly bringing up past situations? You need to be honest with yourself, are you being rude?
Disrespect can look different to each person. You may use slang that upsets them, or not consider their feelings or position. As you realize the people around you deserve to be treated better, just slow your pace and observe. As you ask probing questions, stay open and actively listen. Take people at face value: if they say they don't like something, take them seriously and stop doing that!
Don't get upset that people aren't speaking up for themselves and shutting your rudeness down. They may have tried to and not succeeded. After trying and not succeeding enough times they gave up. Another possibility is they know that those actions weren't you. They had faith that you would grow past it.
3. You Are Always Negative Or Complaining
Commenting on the status of a situation doesn't do much to influence the situation. Remarking on how cold and crappy it is, doesn't make the weather better or you warmer. Commenting on the beauty of a situation doesn't make it more fantastic, it can detract from the momentary enjoyment.
Be specific with your language at all times. Don't talk about how uncomfortable a chair is, fold up your jacket and add it to the cushioning. Your actions don't have to save the world at first, but you can make a start or a dent.
There are elements of life we are stuck with and we are powerless over. If your time and personal resources can't change something, then focus on what you can. We all get bogged down in life's storms but instead of focusing on the current storm, remember how green and beautiful everything will be afterward.
4. You View Your Friends As Enemies
It sounds crazy, we love our friends right? Well, when we don't acknowledge or own up to our feelings, they have a tendency to mutate and effect other parts of our life. It's sad when we refuse to be strong and honest, and the ones we love have our emotional baggage thrust upon them. This scenario can run a myriad of ways, but it is always centered around misplaced emotion and personal denial. Despite your friend's best efforts, you still had to suffer. If they had tried harder then this wouldn't be happening. Your family didn't do exactly as you wanted when everyone's life was difficult, now they are the villains of your story. They made room for the monster you've grown to be.
No matter what happens to us in life, we have to pay attention and be honest. At the end of the day blame is such a pointless emotion, that I don't bother sorting it anymore. Stay focused on the now, and remember tomorrow isn't guaranteed.