TRY THESE 5 TIPS TO BE LIKED BY OTHERS

When you are seeking approval from other people because you want a promotion or you want to move your desk or just simply are trying to get people in your office to like you more – these five tricks are ones that you could try out. Easy to use and easy to learn, these simple tactics will help improve your daily interactions tenfold.


1) Stop judging others

Unless you are working as a judge for an event, judging others less will help people like you a lot more. It is not always your place to tell people when they are wrong or right, or to judge them for their actions – especially if their actions did not involve or affect you. Learning to listen rather than give your input when a co-worker talks about the partying they did over the weekend will get you much further than arguing with them about whether or not they should have done something. Plus, especially in regards to events that have already happened, if you can’t change something that already happened – you will just be arguing for no reason.

2) Ask and Listen

When you are trying to get to know someone or get along with people, asking them questions about themselves is a surefire way to get the agreements moving along. The key here, however, is to listen to their responses. You cannot ask people about themselves without taking the time to listen to what they say back, otherwise you nullify the original intention. Ask your co-workers about their day, and then listen to their responses. Once again, you don’t necessarily need to give input – but show you genuinely care about them.

3) Remember

Once you’ve asked people about their lives, try not to forget that their little brother is visiting for the weekend. If you are able to remember the details of someone’s life, they will like you a lot more than the person who still can’t remember how to pronounce their name. Remembering a small detail can take you a long way with people.

4) Relax

Joking around and hanging out with your co-workers is important to earning their trust and respect – which are intrinsic to them liking you. If you are the stuffy person in the office who always has their headphones in, ignoring the world around them… you are much less likely to get your co-workers to like you. Try relaxing a bit and taking your lunch break with one of your co-workers every now and then. You may be surprised at the results.

5) Be kind

Finally, the easiest way to get people to like you is to be kind to them. Don’t give them a reason to dislike you. Be hospitable. Offer them coffee or invite them when you make a run to Starbucks. A little bit of kindness can go a long way. You never know – it may be the first smile your coworker has seen all day and it may lift their mood incredibly if you just take the time to extend a kind hand their way every day.

YOU PROTECT YOURSELF

Protecting oneself one protects others'
'Protecting others one protects oneself.'

Once the Blessed One told His monks the following story:

'There was once a pair of jugglers who did their acrobatic feats on a bamboo pole. One day the master said to his apprentice: 'Now get on my shoulders and climb up the bamboo pole.When the apprentice had done so, the master said: 'Now protect me well and I shall protect you. By watching each other in that way, we shall be able to show our skill, we shall make a good profit and you can get down safely from the bamboo pole.But the apprentice said: 'Not so, master. You! O Master, should protect yourself, and I too shall protect myself. Thus self-protected and self-guarded we shall safely do our feats."

'This is the right way,said the Blessed One and spoke further as follows:

'It is just as the apprentice said: 'I shall protect myself,in that way the Foundation of Mindfulness should be practised. 'I shall protect others,in that way the Foundation of Mindfulness should be practised. Protecting oneself one protects others; protecting others one protects oneself.
'And how does one, in protecting oneself, protect others? By the repeated and frequent practice of meditation.

'And how does one, by protecting others, protect oneself? By patience and forbearance, by a non-violent and harmless life, by loving kindness and compassion.(Satipatthana, Samyutta, No:19)

'Protecting oneself one protects others'
'Protecting others one protects oneself'

These two sentences supplement each other and should not be taken (or quoted) separately.
Nowadays, when social service is so greatly stressed, people may for instance, be tempted to quote, in support of their ideas, only the second sentence. But any such one-sided quotation would misrepresent the Buddha's statement. It has to be remembered that, in our story the Buddha expressly approved the words of the apprentice, which is that one has first to carefully watch one's own steps if one wishes to protect others from harm. He who is sunk in the mire himself cannot help others out of it. In that sense, self-protection is not selfish protection. It is the cultivation of self-control, and ethical and spiritual self-development.

Protecting oneself one protects others?the truth of this statement begins at a very simple and practical level. At the material level, this truth is so self-evident that we need not say more than a few words about it. It is obvious that the protection of our own health will go far in protecting the health of our closer or wider environment, especially where contagious diseases are concerned. Caution and circumspection in all our doings and movements will protect others from harm that may come to them through our carelessness and negligence. By careful driving, abstention from alcohol, by self-restraint in situations that might lead to violence?in all these and many other ways we shall protect others by protecting ourselves.

We come now to the ethical level of that truth. Moral self-protection will safeguard others, individual and society, against our own unrestrained passions and selfish impulses. If we permit the Three Roots of everything evil, Greed, Hate and Delusion, to take a firm hold in our hearts, then that which grows from those evil roots will spread around like the jungle creeper which suffocates and kills the healthy and noble growth. But if we protect ourselves against these Three Roots of Evil, fellow beings too will be safe from our reckless greed for possession and power, from our unrestrained lust and sensuality, from our envy and jealousy. They will be safe from the disruptive, or even destructive and murderous, consequences of our hate and enmity, from the outburst of our anger, from our spreading an atmosphere of antagonism and quarrelsomeness which may make life unbearable for those around us. But the harmful effects of our greed and hate on others are not limited to cases when they become the passive objects or victims of our hate, or their possession the object of our greed. Greed and hate have an infectious power, which can multiply the evil effects. If we ourselves think of nothing else than to crave and grasp, to acquire and possess, to hold and cling, then we may rouse or strengthen these possessive instincts in others too. Our bad example may become the standard of behavior of our environment for instance among our own children, our colleagues, and so on. Our own conduct may induce others to join us in the common satisfaction of rapacious desires; or we may arouse feelings of resentment and competitiveness in others who wish to beat us in the race. If we are full of sensuality we may kindle the fire of lust in others. Our own hate may cause the hate and vengeance of others. It may also happen that we ally ourselves with others or instigate them to common acts of hate and enmity.

BY Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda 

CULTIVATING THE BUDDHA'S TEACHING


this article is for all that desire deep inner peace and balance in life. It is for all that are stressed or suffer in some way. It is for all that seek a grounded spiritual path.

The Dharma:

The Buddha's dharma or teaching is intended to free us in every way possible so as to live a better life.

It is intended for all. You don't need to be a monk, special initiate, or one of a select few.

The teaching to put into practice first are the Buddha's words:


"don't follow blindly, don't take anyone's word, nor believe anything you hear as truth, until you find out for yourself what is truth." ... Simple, but powerful!

The Human Condition


Why? Because this opens your door to discovery of all that exists in the way of the human condition.

Embodying this wisdom means your very nature becomes that of questioning all that arises in your world.

The Conditioned Response


This applies to every belief that has ever been instilled in you from the day you were born. Freeing yourself includes, but is not limited to the practice of questioning every authority, belief, and custom whether it is of familial, religious, societal, or cultural roots.

Mindless or Mindful


Further, you embody this wisdom in such a way that you carry it out in a peaceful manner, manifesting a calm and composed disposition wherever you are, wherever you go! The practice of this Buddha teaching or Buddhist belief allows for, within you, the arising of wisdom, understanding and knowledge with regard to truth, and the passing of ignorance. You then know why it is that people do what they do, at times, as mindless or senseless beings. This is why: Ignorance. The flip side is you know why people do that which is virtuous and ethical: Wisdom!

Deep Understanding


Now, you can understand those that invade, or try to invade, your space of mind and body. It is simply that they don't know what it is that they do. You cannot do anything to change them, or the world other than to understand with compassion their inability to comprehend truth.

Making Change


You continue to be active, generating peaceful energy of understanding and positive change. This is how you cut your path of change. This, in turn, changes the world. ... This is how you release your burden.

Power Of Your Mind


Now, in order to carry this out, the Buddha taught us to strengthen and take control of our mind. This is accomplished through daily meditation practice.

First, we develop keen concentrative powers. Second, we develop insight as to the nature of all that exists. All through quiet sitting!

This is the foundation behind that which stabilizes us, that which balances us, and allows for equanimity to enter the depths of our beings.

This is the path to follow that leads to inner peace and balance in life. This path leads to the disintegration of the wheel that churns out fear, anxiety, depression, hate, shame, greed, and all that which weighs us down.

Remember the Buddha's Words


"This dhamma is difficult to see, difficult to understand, yet profound, deep ..." Cultivate your path with patience and understanding. Not just understanding of others. This is important. But, understanding of your self. May your path be clear like the dharma lamp that lights your way!

HOW YOU CAN BELIEVE IN YOUR DREAMS


Dreams don’t have to be just wishful thinking if you are willing to do this.

Realize that achieving your dreams isn’t always easy, but it can be broken down into steps. Those who achieve great things usually have to undertake a process. Everything begins in your heart and mind. Dream of possibilities for yourself and allow yourself to revisit them over and over again until you truly believe in them-. Even if it may seem beyond your capabilities. Start by telling yourself, “If I do this, then this can happen for me.” Realize that it takes hard work, but if you are willing, you are able.

You then need to visualize it. Picture in your mind you achieving your goals. Because when you do, you are more likely to take the steps to work towards it. Keep telling yourself that your goal is out there, yours for the taking. And when you keep telling yourself over and over again, you hold yourself accountable and you start to believe in yourself more.

Every big dream also needs some planning. Realize that your dream won’t just happen. You need to think through all of the smaller details and break the whole plan into small, workable parts. Set the time frame for accomplishing each task. This is where you start the work towards your dream.

HOW TO REGAIN CONTROL WHEN YOUR LIFE IS SHAKEN UP


Life can take unexpected turns, learn how to be prepared for them.


Throughout the course of life, there will be several instances where you feel like your life has been shaken out of control. Although you can’t predict or have control over the circumstances of life, it is up to you how you will respond.

Even the most successful people face adversity and failure, but their difference lies in how they respond. Successful people are able to stay productive and in control, despite what has happened to them in life. They forgive themselves, and realize that feelings of self-hatred and disgust for what has happened will only make them fall deeper into a hole. And when you do develop this mindset, it actually allows you to become reckless with yourself, for you have no more belief. You can acknowledge that you have hit a failure, but don’t wallow in it. Shift your attention to your future and how you will make a difference so that the outcome is success.

Another thing that successful people do is that they don’t focus on the hypotheticals. They avoid thinking through every possible scenario that could potentially happen because they have no control over it. They never ask themselves “What if?” Recognize the key distinction between worry and strategic thinking. Focus on the solution, not the problem themselves.

Successful people also find that setting perfection as the target is fruitless. Perfection doesn’t exist and it will only set you up for failure. Because, when you don’t reach perfection, or what appears impossible, you leave yourself feeling like a failure that will reduce future efforts. You lament about what you failed to accomplish instead of moving forward with what you can and what you will do.

MEDITATION HOW?

This is the way to the experience of bliss.

Meditation, in the Buddhist context is mental development. Unlike all other beings, we humans are exceptionally blessed to have a mind, which is developed and can be further developed. 

When developed, the mind has a great potential to achieve a state of calmness and insight. This is why we need to practice and develop the mind. This exercise is called ‘bhāvanā’ (meditation).

When we practice bhāvanā, what should we do? There are volumes of books written about how to practice bhāvanā and there are many talks available in different forms and by different teachers, easily found on the Internet. Many varied instructions and practices are described and advocated.

By the same token, we see that there are different methods of bhāvanā. People practice these different methods and may get the benefits.  Yet these different methods are, as we see, touching upon only limited aspects of bhāvanā.  In other words, these are still insufficient because all these teachers are unenlightened ones compared to the teacher that was the Buddha. That is why we always trust the Buddha and follow his original teachings.

The Buddha has taught us a method to practice bhāvanā. That is the Four Establishments of Mindfulness. This is a method to observe our existence objectively. Observe what? Observe the nature of the body-mind, the five aggregates, the twelve bases, and the eighteen kinds of elements. This is the way to the development of the 37 Factors of Enlightenment.

This is the way to the experience of bliss. Whoever wants to practice bhāvanā or meditation should read the Four Establishments of Mindfulness and practice accordingly. This is the way to be developed and cultivated by the wise to gain both serenity and insight. The Buddha has given the necessary instructions clearly many times, in many of his teachings, such as The Great Discourse on the Establishments of Mindfulness, the Great Discourse to Rāhula (His son); ‘Two Kinds of Thought’ and the ‘Removal of Distracting Thoughts.’

However, the quintessence of all his instructions can be seen in one striking stanza in the chapter called ‘The Mind” in The Dhammapada. The Buddha says, “Knowing this body like a fragile clay pot, and establishing this mind like a fortress, conquer Māra with the sword of wisdom. Then protect what has been won, but cling to nothing.”
This is how bhāvanā  (meditation) is to be practiced. 

Here the instruction of the Buddha is very clear.  When we practice, we first choose a suitable, congenial place and then sit. Cross-legged is the best, if you can sit in that fashion. Otherwise, you may find the posture that works best or you can sit in a chair. What is more important is that the upper part of the body should be erect. You can keep your eyes gently closed, resting your tongue against the upper teeth so that you do not need to swallow saliva all the time.

Now you are ready to practice. The Buddha’s instruction is to consider the body as if it were a fragile clay pot. Imagine such a pot. It is impermanent. You have to handle it carefully. You cannot shake it or move it here and there all the time.

Once it is kept somewhere, it remains there, in place, safe and sound.  When it is kept in such a way, it remains calm and steady. The second admonition is to keep the mind as a fortress and do not let enemies such as sensual desire, ill-will, restlessness, sleepiness or doubt pop up.  Then what is next? That is to fight Māra with the weapon of wisdom.

Wisdom arises only in a quiet mind. So for this purpose you need a calm and settled mind. Be more and more mindful; be in the present. Return time after time to this moment–to-moment observation. Give your full attention to your breath; observe this natural and peaceful breath.   
I wish you good luck!

BY Bhikkhu T. Seelananda

NO ONE CAN BUT ONLY YOU CAN SAVE YOURSELF

Self confidence plays an important part in every aspect of man's life.
Knowing that no external sources, no faith or rituals can save him, the Buddhist feels the need to rely on his own efforts. He gains confidence through self-reliance. He realizes that the whole responsibility of his present life as well as his future life depends completely on himself alone. Each must seek salvation for himself. Achieving salvation can be compared to curing a disease: if one is ill, one must go to a doctor. The doctor diagnose the ailment and prescribes medicine. The medicine must be taken by the person himself. He cannot depute someone else to take the medicine for him. No one can be cured by simply admiring the medicine or just praising the doctor for his good prescription.

In order to be cured, he himself must faithfully follow the instructions given by the doctor with regard to the manner and frequency in taking his medicine, his daily diet and other relevant medical restraints. Likewise, a person must follow the precepts, instructions or advice given by the Buddha (who gives prescriptions for liberation)by controlling or subduing one's greed, hatred and ignorance. No one can find salvation by simply singing praises of the Buddha or by making offerings to Him. Neither can one find salvation by celebrating certain important occasions in honour of the Buddha. Buddhism is not a religion where people can attain salvation by mere prayer or begging to be saved. They must strive hard by controlling their selfish desires and emotions in order to gain salvation.

BY Venerable K. Sri Dhammananda

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