5 Common Habits Of Happy People

There are a lot of unhappy people in this world, and there’s a good reason for that: this world doesn’t always let people easily flourish and be the best they can be. It takes a great deal of effort to be happy. Chronically happy people didn’t just wake up that way. They worked at it. This is what they do.

1. They give back.

Few things create greater joy than giving back to your community and helping people. In one of the lowest, darkest points of my adult life, I pulled myself up by beginning to volunteer with a nonprofit that helped low income and homeless people in my neighborhood. It felt great!

2. They never stop learning.

Happy people consider themselves the stewards of this world, and to do so, they must continue educating themselves. They travel, experience other people, experience other cultures, and use education to become more worldly.

3. They don’t get bent out of shape over little stuff.

Chronically happy people can be sad. There’s no rule saying they’re not allowed to be. What they don’t do is sweat the petty stuff. Little nuisances happen to all of us. They don’t react by blaring their car horn or yelling. They just let it go.

4. They set goals and work hard.

Happy people are in a state of perpetual self-improvement. They’re happy with the person they are now, but they know they could be more. It is for that reason that happy people are goal oriented people, establishing well thought out goals and working persistently to achieve them.

5. They don’t settle for less.

And why should they? You won’t achieve happiness by settling for less – never in a million years. Strive for the best, don’t settle for less. source

5 Simple Ways Mentally Strong People Deal With Stress

Stress is something that everyone feels, regardless of who you are. It is a natural part of being human.
The unfortunate part is that if you let your stress get out of hand and let it dominate your life, you're likely to suffer from a slew of negative health effects, like high blood pressure, and more serious conditions like depression, anxiety disorder, and substance abuse.
Don't let your stress lead you down a destructive path. Use these five tips from the mentally strong to overcome your stress:

1. Acknowledge that stressful things will always happen

Even the best laid plans of mice and men often go askew, as Robert Burns would say. Meaning, you can plan all you want, but at the end of the day, sometimes life throws you a curveball the likes of which you've never seen. Know that you can handle anything that comes your way; see stressful situations as opportunities to overcome adversity.

2. Stress management tools are your friend

Research from the Journal of Occupational Medicine focused on workplace stress management programs found that goal setting, problem solving, identifying and questioning negative thoughts, relaxation and time management were all effective ways of helping people reduce or handle their stress.

3. Positive Affirmation

How your inner dialogue speaks during times of duress can be your bane or your savior. Focus on positive self-affirmations that remind you just how capable you are of overcoming stressful circumstances. Use phrases like "I've been through worse before, I can handle this just like I did last time," to fill your mind with positivity.

4. Time Management

Stress is manifested purely in our minds, and much of this stress comes from the perception that we do not have enough time to finish what we need to finish. Effective time management can greatly reduce stress levels. Plan ahead to accommodate for lost time to ensure you're never caught in a stressful situation.

5. Find joy during troubling times

Laughter is infectious and when it dominates the mind, we're capable of a great number of feats. For example, running ten miles with my friend is much easier than running it by myself, simply because we laugh and chat the whole time. The same goes for when you mess up or overreact. If you can laugh it off, you're one step closer to shifting from a negative mindset to a positive one. source

Inspiring Words From Stephen Hawking For Those Dealing With Depression

Stephen Hawking is a world-renowned scientist who has shown us the complex yet entirely invaluable insights of space and time as well as the indescribable theoretic’s in physics. To where he has been faced now to share his other insights about certain kinds of emotions.

Hawking revealed a stunning message that he offered to those who are suffering from depression, using black holes as analogies of depression, as if neither one of them seems like they are ever going to let you escape from the depths of the darkest feelings and possibilities.
As Hawking states: “The message of this lecture is that black holes ain’t as black as they are painted. They are not the eternal prisons they were once though…things can get out of a black hole both on the outside and possibly to another universe. So if you feel you are in a black hole, don’t give up – there’s a way out.”
He has just become of the age of 74, living with a motor neuron disease for 53 of those years, had given a speech in front of a crowd of over 400 people that had been apart of the Reith lecture held within the Royal Institute in London. Hawking’s daughter, Lucy in the crowd of the audience, had noted about his incredible mental fitness – meaning both intellectually as well as emotionally.
She claims: “He has a very enviable wish to keep going and the ability to summon all his reserves, all his energy, all his mental focus and press them all into that goal of keeping going. But not just to keep going for the purposes of survival but to transcend this by producing extraordinary work – writing books, giving lectures, inspiring other people with neurodegenerative and other disabilities.” source


A lot of people in the world have their usual morning habits – they start their day with a hot cup of tea or cup of coffee to warm up after waking up. Or, if you have a habit of drinking water, then you probably drink it cold, right? If we are to believe Ayurvedic, we’re not right when the water is at stake. Did you know that if you drink hot water, especially in the morning, on empty stomach, can have great beneficial effects on your body? It will improve digestion rate and it helps the body to remove the harmful toxins and metabolic waste from your body. In this post we are going to show you the main reasons why you should consume hot water in the morning.
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Six reasons why you should consume warm water:

  1. Detoxifies organs for welding
If you drink cup of hot water in the morning, it will help you clean your body from harmful toxins. This is because water and other liquids promote the decomposition of food in the stomach and improve the digestive tract. So, try to replace the cold water with hot water, and you will improve your digestion, especially after meals.
  1. Boosts metabolism
We all get stomachaches sometimes. Just drink 1 glass of warm water in the morning on empty stomach. It will boost your metabolism and it will help your body to function properly. Your stomachaches will disappear immediately!
  1. Eases pain
Some people believe that the warm water is the most powerful natural remedy and that it can alleviate pain with menstrual cramps. This water’s heat will relax tummy muscles and it will soothe the pain. We can also mention that warm water is also extremely good for all kinds of cramps. This is because warm water enhances capillary circulation and it relaxes the muscles.
  1. Weight loss
If you are practicing some kind of weight losing diet, then you’ve probably heard that a glass of warm water in the morning will help you lose weight much faster, right? This is because warm water increases body temperature and accelerates your organism. So, in this way, your body will burn more calories and you’ll also have a beneficial effect on your kidneys and all excretion organs.
  1. Improves circulation
As we mentioned before, if you consume warm water in the morning, on empty stomach, you will help your body to flush all harmful toxins and wastes. So, in this way, it will improve its circulation.
  1. Slows down the aging process
We all know that premature aging is the worst nightmare for every person in the world, especially for women. But, fortunately, this can be prevented by consuming warm water. As we all know, the presence of toxins in the body speeds up the aging process, and just like we said, water frees the body of toxins, and it slows down the aging process and increases the skin’s elasticity.
There you have it guys. Six extremely important reasons why you should drink warm water in the morning, on empty stomach. We really hope you find this post helpful and please share it with your friends and family. Thanks. source

7 Definite Signs Your Man/Woman Truly Loves you

1. He Treats You Well
A guy who loves you is considerate of your feelings, needs and desires. He makes them as important as his desires and needs. He is concerned with your well-being and will do things to make your life better, sometimes going out of his way to do so. Not only does he treat you well, he is also good to your family and friends.

2. He Is Generous With His Time
He doesn’t let too much time go by without seeing you. When he is available, he wants to be with you and chooses to spend his time with you. If you’re in a long distance relationship, he is spending time with you whenever your schedules allow. And you are together during major holidays such as Valentine’s Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Eve.

3. He Makes You A Priority
You are at the forefront of his mind and he maintains contact in between the times you see each other. He considers you when making decisions and is considerate about doing things you want to do. When speaking, he uses “we” instead of “I”, and includes you in his future plans.
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4. He Cares For You
A guy who loves you is genuinely happy for you when good things happen to you. He is compassionate when you’re going through challenges. This guy is there for you in the good and not so good times. He thinks about you and surprises you with tokens of affection outside of your birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s Day. He will also challenge you by calling you out on stuff to help you become a better person.

5. He Wants People To Know About You
He is affectionate with you in public by holding your hand, putting his arm around you and/or hugging you. He is proud to be with you and has introduced you to his family and friends. He brings you to family functions and get-togethers with friends, and takes you to company events.

6. He Treats Your Relationship With Integrity
He is trustworthy and loyal to you and your relationship. He is upfront with you about his past girlfriends and skeletons in his closet. He does what he says and will let you know if he’s not able to. When issues come up, he is willing to work through them. Although he isn’t perfect, he tries to be a better man.

7. He Wants The Best For You
A guy who loves you encourages you to do things you love, even if it means doing these things without him. He wants you to spend time with family and friends. He encourages you to find and live your passions, knowing that if you are happy and engaged with life, you’ll be happy and engaged in your relationship with him.

Place less weight on his words and more weight on his behaviors and actions. A man’s behaviors and actions are more revealing and show if he loves you or not. It’s easier for a man to say, “I love you” because that’s what you want to hear. The true test of whether he loves you is if he exhibits the signs described earlier. When a man loves you, you won’t need to hear the words because you will just know. source

How Do I End My Suffering? Where Do I Start? Here's The Buddhist Way

Question: “How do I end my suffering? Where do I start?”
That is an excellent question! To me, I think, one of the hardest things to do is starting something. Whether it’s a new job, a new project, new school, new book – the beginning of anything is brutal. At least I think so. Buddhism is no exception. Mostly because there is just so much information that it becomes very overwhelming very quickly.
So where should we begin? Well, it’s easy to just pick up any Buddhism intro or 101 book and read it and assume we know something about Buddhism now. We could not be further from the truth. One, or even ten, introduction books doesn’t give us even a fraction of any real “introduction” to Buddhism. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but still.
I’ve always and will always recommend the five-year syllabus plan. Though five years seems like a really long time, it will provide you with the necessary knowledge, understanding, and mastery that some “advanced” practitioners think they have on the topics you cover.
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This is a basic rundown of this five-year syllabus:
Year 1: Covers the Four Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path. You study, contemplate and meditate on one truth/path a month. By the end of the year, you would have mastered these two very profound and important teachings.
Year 2: Covers the Twelve Links of Dependent Origination. Again, one link per month.
Year 3: Covers the Six Perfections and Four Immeasurables. The extra two months can be spent on some of topic you might be having a hard time understanding or studying, especially the Perfect of Wisdom.
Year 4: Sutra study. Studying sutras should always come later in one’s practice, because no Buddhist sutra is ever straight-forward and clear. Instead, they are filled with parables and “spiritual code” that needs deciphering. But can only be done when the practitioner really knows what the Buddha was teaching for those sutras. Every example and metaphor the Buddha gave never really actually meant those things, they were always references to something else, and without a trained and practiced “Buddhist mind,” these references would be impossible to understand clearly. So it’s important to never take sutras for face value and to always dig deep for their true meanings.
Year 5: Should be a year of meditation. Study should still continue, but instead of having specifics to study, this is your time to roam free with your studies. This is your elective year. Though your study still continues, meditation should take up most of your time.
So as you can see from this “syllabus,” progress must be made from what seems simple like the noble truths to difficult interpretations of the sutras. Don’t think “life is suffering” is all there is to the first Truth. Simple sentences always mean profound meanings. Even a whole month is truly not enough time to truly and fully grasp the complete understanding, but it is for now.
Don’t try to jump into difficult topics and teachings, because you will only confuse and hurt yourself. The foundation of every Buddhist teaching are the eightfold path and the twelve links, and if those are not mastered, then Buddhist study will be difficult and unrewarding. source

Choose The Eye Your Attracted To And Discover What It Reveals About You

William Shakespeare said:  “The eyes are the window to your soul.”  You can tell a lot about what a person is thinking or feeling by looking at their eyes.  Take a look at the image and choose the eye to which you are most drawn.  Don’t over-think it; just pick the eye that draws you in the most.

Ready?  Let’s find out what your choice reveals about your personality.

If you found yourself drawn to eye #1:

You’re the open, kind spirit. You welcome everyone into your life, whether it walks, slithers or crawls. You prefer to take risks and get hurt than to keep yourself locked away. Helping others is a high priority for you.

If you found yourself drawn to eye #2:

You’re the conscientious one. You’re always looking to do the right thing for your community and the world. You know your actions make a difference, even if they’re small ones. You believe that activism is the rent you pay for living on this planet.

If you found yourself drawn to eye #3:

You’re the troubled one. Your past was likely tumultuous and still impacts your life today. You might feel like life is a sick joke being played on you and struggle to find peace in this. Despite this, you’re capable of picking yourself up when you fall and can have a sunny disposition. You’re a point of light in a demon-haunted world.

If you found yourself drawn to eye #4:

You’re the philosopher. You look for deeper meaning in things but are still comforted when something can be taken at face value. You’re confident in your ability to solve the puzzles of this life. You may not figure it all out, but that’s alright.

If you found yourself drawn to eye #5:

You’re the mysterious one. You haven’t figured yourself out yet, which makes you fairly enigmatic to the people around you. You don’t mince words and are a person of action. You don’t speak unless you’re certain of what you say.

If you found yourself drawn to eye #6:

You’re more of a sensitive, thoughtful person. You notice the little details and rarely forget anything, even if it’s something silly or pointless. You’re fragile but you never show it. You have a strong intuition and often are the first to see trouble ahead.

If you found yourself drawn to eye #7:

You’re a fiery spirit. You’re energetic, passionate, and perfect for leadership roles. You wear yourself on your sleeve and are very opinionated. You’re thrilled by anything high stakes.

If you found yourself drawn to eye #8:

You’re the crazy one. You have unusual interests, practices, and systems of belief. You were probably called a weirdo as a kid. Don’t sweat it, these may seem like insults but they’re what make you special. You laugh off tradition and never conform.

If you found yourself drawn to eye #9:

You’re the intuitive one. You understand people, cultures, and the whole world well. You can read people like a poem and know when you’re being lied to. Your every action is measured and you don’t manipulate easily. At the same time, you can play puppet master well, though we don’t recommend that kind of behavior.source

12 Laws of Karma That Will Change Your Life

Karma is the law of cause and effect – an unbreakable law of the cosmos. Your actions create your future. The reason your fate is never sealed is because you have free will. Therefore your future cannot already be written. That would not be fair. Life gives you chances. This is one of them. 
Karma is a somewhat abstract concept to many of us. There is a lot of confusing information on this non-religious topic – information which is unnecessary. So, we think it’d be helpful to paint a bit of a picture to help solidify the concept of karma.
To do so, just a quick example is necessary.
Say that we are all willing to go around and help people in any way we see fit – putting coins in expired parking meters, holding doors open for everyone, giving a couple dollars to a homeless person, buying someone’s coffee or tea, etc., etc.
Now two questions: What is the possibility that the person we’ve helped will reciprocate, or “pay it forward”? What’s the possibility that this action created a positive source of energy?
That’s a very basic example of everyday karma. Of course, there is negative karma as well. Gandhi explains such in a simple yet profound way:
“A man is but the product of his thoughts. What he thinks, he becomes.” 


  1. The Great Law: “As you sow, so shall you reap.”
The simple explanation of the Great Law is: our thought and actions have consequences – good or bad. If we desire peace, love, harmony, prosperity, etc. we must be willing to act accordingly.
This is also known as the “Law of Cause and Effect.” Also, energy (thought, action) that we put into the world has a consequence, immediate or not.

  1. The Law of Creation: “What we desire comes through participation.”
The life we see around us was created by a person’s intentions. As we are one with the Universe, our intentions determine the evolution of creation. Since what we surround ourselves with becomes part of us, it’s our responsibility to ensure these surroundings are conducive to our desires.

  1. The Law of Humility: “Refusal to accept what is will still be what is.”
Acceptance is a near-universal virtue in many belief systems. Simply put, we must first accept the present circumstances in order to change them.
In focusing on the negative instead of making changes to address the negative, we’re committing to a zero-sum result.

  1. The Law of Growth: “Our own growth is above any circumstance.”
The only thing we have control over is ourselves. The subsequent action (or inaction) of motive will yield either positive or negative circumstances in our lives.
True change only occurs if we make the commitment to change what is in our heart.

  1. The Law of Responsibility: “Our lives are of our own doing, nothing else.”
When there is turbulence in one’s own life, there is often turbulence internally. If we’re to change our life, we must change our frame of mind and surroundings.

  1. The Law of Connection: “Everything in the Universe is connected, both large and small.”
Our past, present and future are all connected. As such, we must put in the work to change these connections if we desire something different.
No step – first, intermediate or last – is more important in the accomplishment of a task. All are required.

  1. The Law of Focus: “One cannot direct attention beyond a single task.”
Relating to our spiritual growth, we cannot have negative thoughts or actions and expect to grow spiritually. We must direct full attention to achieve any desired task.

  1. The Law of Hospitality and Giving: “Demonstrating our selflessness shows true intentions.”
Put simply: what we claim to believe must manifest into our actions. Selflessness is a virtue only if we’re accommodating something other than ourselves.
Without a selfless nature, true spiritual growth is nearly impossible.

  1. The Law of Change: “History repeats itself unless changed.”
Conscious commitment to change is the only method of influencing the past. History will continue along an unconstructive path until positive energies direct it elsewhere.

  1. The Law of Here and Now: “The Present is all we have.”
Looking back regretfully and forward pointlessly robs oneself of a present opportunity. Old thoughts and patterns of behavior negate the present chance to advance ourselves.

  1. The Law of Patience and Reward: “Nothing of value is created without a patient mindset.”
Toiling away cannot be circumvented through wishful thinking. Our rewards are claimed only through patience and persistence, nothing else.
Rewards are not the end-result. True, lasting joy comes from the knowledge of doing what’s necessary in the rightful anticipation of a reward that is well-earned.

  1. The Law of Significance and Inspiration: “The best reward is one that contributes to the Whole.”
The end result is of little value if it leaves little or nothing behind.
Energy and intentions are vital components that determine the significance of an end-result. Ideally, love and passion embody the motives of one that resolves to leave a lasting impression on the Whole. source


Decent and well – mannered eating with uncommon tableware is not generally the healthiest and most suggested option.
The bad-mannered eating with hands and licking the fingers can be more beneficial and more helpful in a few circumstances, and it can likewise prevent us from specific maladies.

Eating-With-Your-Fingers-Is-Way-More-More beneficial
Aversion of Diabetes Type 2 A large number of individuals that eats quick have more opportunities to experience the ill effects of diabetes type 2. As to the way that suppers eaten with a fork and a knife last faster than those that we devour using our hands, it is apparent and ideal to eat “rude” at whatever point conceivable.
Not just you have a bit of chips or two with your fingers, as opposed to the 5 or 6 you can get with the fork, yet you additionally eat slower, as a snack.

Digestion improvement
It is very good to known after you wash your hands to get rid of all harmful bacteria, certain so- called “useful” bacteria remain on them, which are the solution for the harmful ones in the body and are good to be consumed, while eating with the fingers.
Meanwhile, the brains gets signals from the nerve ends for the kind of food, whether it is hot or cold, solid or soft, so it prepares the digestive organs for it.

Prevents Overeating
Many people who use their hands only while they eat are slim. This is because they do not eat too much. The problem of overeating in children can be solved very easy and effortlessly if their parents let them use their hands for eating.

The safest way to remain in shape
People who are multitasking during eating eat more than people who just sit at the table and eat.
Eating with both hands makes you busy and concentrated on your meal only, since your hands are greasy, unwashed and you cannot use them for anything else. This is good because you do not get distracted by other things and you only focus on the food in front of you, and this makes you able to estimate the amount of the food you have taken in during that particular meal and when is the time to stop. source

Loners Are The Most Loyal And Intellectual People You Will Ever Meet. Here's Why...

I remember the first time I realized that I might be kind of a loner. When friends would invite me to hang out, usually I would tag along regardless of what was going on.
But then I started growing up and getting older, and solitude started to actually mean something to me. I grew more and more comfortable simply being by myself, alone with my own company. 
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Loners get a bad wrap sometimes, simply because they're not super extroverted or concerned with having an active social life. But that doesn't mean anything is wrong with them or that they need someone to help them socialize.
There are actually two different types of loners. The extroverted loner, who has no problem making friends or being social, but chooses to be alone, and the introverted loner, who actually feels more secure and safe by being alone, not having much of a choice.
Extroverted loners carry great potential to be some of your best friends, because after all, they'd rather be spending time alone anyway, so if they want to spend their time with you, it's because they really like you. They're not about to hang out with just anyone.
The introverted loner is easily overwhelmed by crowds or large groups, so they choose different social avenues, like online forums or communities rather than concert venues or bars. They still crave human interaction just as much as their extroverted peers, they just go about pursuing it differently.
But if there's one thing to take away from this article, it's that being a loner is entirely different than being lonely. There are numerous reasons for a person to enjoy simply existing in solitude, so if you're starting to realize that you might be a loner, don't worry about being persecuted or stigmatized, embrace it.

Loyalty and intelligence are your hallmark characteristics. So, be smart, choose your friends wisely, and don't be afraid to say "no" when a night in by yourself sounds better than a night out on the town. source

What Your Birth Number Reveals About You

What is a birth number? A birth number is calculated by the month, day and year you were born.  To find your birth number, add all the numbers in your birth date, then add those individual numbers, then add the two digit number that remains. So for example:

March 19, 1950
3 + 19 + 1950 = 1972
1 + 9 + 7 + 2 = 19
1 + 9 = 10
1 + 0 = 1
So, 1 is the birth number of the person with the above birth date.

Note: If you end up with 10 at the end, strike the 0. Your number is one.

What exactly do these numbers mean?


The originators are original people who naturally execute new ideas without difficulty. They have a tendency to be a little bit arrogant though. They’re honest, but have trouble accepting the ideas of others.
Famous 1′s: Tom Hanks, Robert Redford, Hulk Hogan, Carol Burnett, Wynona Judd, Nancy Reagan, Raquel Welch.


The peacemakers are born diplomats. They’re keenly aware of what others need and often think of others before themselves. They dislike being alone. They strongly value friendship. They can be shy but should learn to boost their self-esteem by finding validation from within.
Famous 2′s: President Bill Clinton, Madonna, Whoopee Goldberg, Thomas Edison, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.


These folks are creative, social, charming and easy going. They often have trouble seeing projects through to the end. They like to see other people happy and will do what they can to make it a reality. They tend to be popular. But they tend to view the world through an unrealistic lens.
Famous 3′s: Alan Alder, Ann Landers, Bill Cosby, Melanie Griffith, Karen Round butt, Salv! ador Dali, Jodi Foster


The conservatives love tradition, tend to be routine, and enjoy order. They like working hard and getting their hands dirty. They enjoy the outdoors and nature. They have a tendency to be stubborn and should learn to be more flexible and nicer to themselves.
Famous 4′s: Neil Diamond, Margaret Thatcher, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tina Turner, Paul Hogan, Oprah Winfrey


The nonconformists are explorers. They dance to their own tune, but tend to ostracize others. They have trouble dealing with ‘the man’ and in many ways would rather be left alone. #5s should remember the value in being able to work with others.
Famous 5′s: Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte, Jessica Walter, Vincent VanGogh, Bette Midler, Helen Keller and Mark Hail.


Romantics feel like they need to be useful and happy at all times. Family is important to them and they have a strong urge to take care of others. They’re loyal and make excellent teachers. They need to remember to focus on what they can change, not what they can’t.
Famous 6′s: Albert Einstein, Jane Seymour, John Denver, Merlyn Steep, Christopher Columbus, Goldie Hawn


The intellectuals are the searchers of hidden information. When they uncover something new, all they want to do is share with the world. They’re unswayed by their emotions. Decisions come from logical conclusions for them. They tend to believe that slow and steady wins the race. They tend to be very philosophical. They tend to keep secrets, but should take care to realize that not everyone is as passionate about their scholastic interests.
Famous 7′s: William Shakespeare, Lucille Ball, Michael Jackson, Joan Baez, Princess Diana


8′s are the problem solvers. They tend to be professionals and hold their accomplishments in high regard. They take pride in their work, but should be careful not to become power hungry.
Famous 8′s: Edgar Cayce, Barbara Streisand, George Harrison, Jane Fonda, Pablo Picasso, Aretha Franklin, Nostrodamus


9′s are entertainers. They tend to be generous and caring, often giving away the last of their money to help others. They’re charming and rarely does a stranger remain that way for long. They change often and blend in. They enjoy having a loving foundation, but should learn greater independence.
Famous 9′s: Albert Schweitzer, Shirley MacLaine, Harrison Ford, Jimmy Carter, Elvis Presley source


Trauma can be challenging, but the moment we are willing to do work on it is the moment that so much potential for healing and growth opens up. The more aware we are of the bigger picture, the less we suffer.

As a general rule, the mind clings to negative, fear-based experiences as a biological survival mechanism. But when we can consciously step outside of our own stories, outdated beliefs, and personal perspective, we can empower personal transformation through self-awareness.

Below are some useful questions to ask yourself in different instances of trauma. They are designed to help clear your mind, open your heart, and begin the healing process.

1. Life Is About Evolution. Find The Lesson In Your Experience

The Big Bang has revealed a universe to us that is radically evolutionary. It is constantly growing, evolving, and developing, and has been for more than 14 billion years. Life is evolution. It is an ongoing process of transformation and conscious expansion. This is a natural law, and this means that from a higher perspective, all of the experiences in our lives are happening for us, not “to” us.

While things may create suffering on an egoic level, there is often a different layer of meaning from a higher perspective. You must be willing to look for the hidden order in your perceived chaos. Ask yourself:

What am I supposed to learn?

How did I play a part in the creation of this, and what habits or behaviours do I need to clear?

How can I grow from this?
These questions will take you out of a state of learned helplessness and begin shifting your mind to focus on the solution rather than the problem.

I recently worked with a client whose house burnt down. She was overcome with grief. While discussing the situation, she mentioned to me that it was also days within the ten-year anniversary of her husband’s death.

I asked her if she felt that the two situations were somehow connected. Right away, she mentioned that she had still kept all of her husband’s belongings in that house and their bedroom exactly the same, more than ten years later.

She also mentioned how consistently her family begged her to move on. One family member specifically said to her, “If you don’t let go and choose to move on, the universe will eventually force you to.” She felt that this was a lesson in moving forward in her life, and in letting go. She also knew that by holding on so tightly to the past, she was preventing new love and peace of mind from entering her life.

She knew it was time to let go, and as challenging as it would be, it couldn’t be more painful than spending every day trying to pretend that nothing had changed.

Finding the lesson is an important first step to opening our minds to the evolutionary process, and finding a higher meaning in the sequence of events occurring in our lives.
“The wound is the place where the light enters.”    – Rumi

2. See The Other Side

 Beyond simply learning from our experiences, we can also find the hidden benefits in all of the circumstances we are faced with.

Our beliefs and expectations will often create one-sided stories in our mind about whether events are good or bad. This often causes us to focus primarily on the drawbacks of unmet expectations. And yet the exact events that challenge us most in life often have the greatest unseen blessings embedded within them.

Ask yourself, “What are the unseen benefits of this traumatic experience?”
Based on the natural laws of duality that exist on our planet, this technique I’ve learned from Dr. Nima Rahmany in The Overview Method is very effective. It works to un-filter your selective perception so that you can see both sides in a traumatic situation.

Where are you being supported in the face of this challenge? How is this trauma actually supporting the things you care about most in your life?

If you are courageous enough, you will be willing to go directly into the challenges you face, open up your perspective, and do the work. The more benefits you find, the closer you will get to neutralizing the feeling of loss within yourself.

3. Look Beyond Your Perspective

There is a difference between pain and suffering. Pain is a feedback loop, while suffering is the story we create about the pain itself. It adds another layer to our pain
If someone else has hurt you, ask yourself: “Why, according to this person’s life story and perception of events, did this person feel justified in making their decision?”

Every single one of us makes a decision because the combination of our conscious + subconscious mind believes there are more benefits than drawbacks in that decision.
This means that everyone is always doing the best they can with what they understand at the time. And more often than not, the people who do the most careless or destructive things are often the ones hurting the most.

The same principle applies to you also, meaning that the notion of having regret is illusory. It is based on only being able to see the conscious mind’s perspective, putting us in a state of limited awareness. If we could open up the selective filter and see the bigger picture, we would find that the subconscious mind saw greater benefits in our decision at the time, that we weren’t consciously aware of.

In the words of Yehuda Berg, “Hurt people, hurt people.” With awareness and understanding, we can work to break the cycle.

4. Find What’s Missing

In the case of a traumatic loss, developed by Dr. John DeMartini:
All positive and negative particles in the universe are created simultaneously, in perfect one-to-one balance. We are made of these particles, and if these laws apply to all matter (in both quantum mechanics and classical physics), they must apply to the whole.

This perfect one-to-one balance exists within all things, but our senses create imbalanced perceptions.It is completely normal to become attached to the form of what we’ve lost, but it can be very healing to find where what we’re missing still exists in our lives.

Ask yourself, “What do I miss about who/what I’ve lost?”
For example, let’s say that you’ve lost a friend and you miss:
  1. His sense of humour
  2. Having deep conversations with him
  3. Playing video games
  4. His awesome hugs
Keep listing until you’ve covered all of the things you miss about that person.
Now, see where these things still appear in your life, but in different forms:
  1. Who do you laugh with now/who has a good sense of humour?
  2. Who do you have deep conversations with now?

Go through all of the traits that you’ve listed. Sometimes, you’ll have to look very carefully to open up your selective perception. The things you miss in your friend might not only come in the form of other people. For example, you might laugh with your aunt or siblings more often, but you might also find yourself watching more comedy television or funny videos.
If you look carefully, you will find that what you’re missing isn’t actually gone, it has only changed forms. Universal laws state that everything is always in a state of balance, a state of wholeness. While grieving is a necessary part of dealing with trauma, it is often the form we are attached to that creates the most suffering.

Then, what are the benefits of these new forms, that the old one didn’t have?
Some of these questions can be challenging to go through, but if you truly want to create transformation, they are well worth it.

Love yourself enough to do the work, ask the questions, and set yourself free. You deserve it.

by THAIS GIBSON via collective-evolution.com

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