10 Things That Narcissists Fear The Most

If you ever wondered whether narcissists could be vulnerable, then, believe it, they can. All it takes is for them to have to deal with one of their 10 worst nightmares.

Here are the 10 things a narcissist fears the most:

1) Abandonment.

Narcissists can’t stand being abandoned. That’s why they become furious and punish and threaten you if they feel that you want to leave them. The bad thing is that they really know how to get their way and convince you to stay with them. Just don't make the mistake and believe that this is out of their love for you. Unfortunately, a narcissist can only love themselves. That's why they won't let themselves be abandoned by anyone, including you. They will do their best to keep you beside them until they decide that they don't need you anymore. Of course, that will happen when they'll have already found their next victim.

2) Criticism.

Narcissists criticize everyone, but, of course, they hate being criticized. The narcissist has, unconsciously or consciously, created an elaborate lie which they use as a massive defense mechanism against being criticized as imperfect and flawed just like everybody else. Being made to acknowledge their shortcomings is to show their vulnerabilities to other people. Being vulnerable is unbelievably terrifying to them. They are the ones who criticize, so they don’t have to feel shame for themselves.

3) Betrayal.

Betrayal is more than just cheating. When you are betrayed in a relationship, it is the worst of all relationships' crimes. Any loss is painful, but a betrayal is exponentially more devastating. 

Narcissists are masters of betrayal. However, as one might guess, betrayal is their own worst nightmare. Being betrayed means that they automatically lose all the big idea they had had for themselves. Their self-construction is ruined. Their feeling that they're untouchable is now burning up in flames.

4) Humiliation.

Narcissists have no sense of humor. They might laugh cruelly at you when something bad happens to you. They might chuckle at the discomfort of somebody else (as they have almost no empathy), especially when this discomfort was caused by them (as, remember, to them you are not a real person but more of an object). However, they are completely incapable of ever laughing at themselves; they don't even know how to see their flaws as something funny.

Sarcasm is only a way of defending themselves. That's why when someone else makes fun of them, they feel completely vulnerable. It's their worst nightmare; they feel totally exposed.

5) Loneliness.

Narcissists are usually insecure individuals and feed on other people's praises and exaltations towards themselves. To them, only other people can be the sources of their self-esteem. That's why being alone only adds to their insecurity. Narcissists have never actually learned how to love themselves for what they truly are. That's why they hate being alone, because then they'll have to face their true self, with their flaws and imperfections.

6) Rejection.

To reject a narcissist means you are renouncing the false self they have so carefully built to impress you. To reject that self-construction, which is a narcissist's entire reason for existing - as their true self (if any left) is totally inaccessible to them - means that the narcissist's false self can't survive anymore. Narcissists are entirely dependent on the approval and attention of other people. They feed on others like vampires. When you reject a narcissist, you somehow make them confront their emptiness; nothing scares them more than that. They will do anything to avoid such a situation, even if it means they have to destroy your emotions in the process.

7) Being disrespected.

Nobody likes to be treated with disdain or disrespect. However, a narcissist is downright phobic about it. They worry about it all the time and imagine slights and personal attacks even where they don’t exist. Once more, this is totally related to the false self which narcissists should constantly keep propped up. 

Disrespecting a narcissist is the best thing you can do to defend yourself when you feel abused by them. Just keep in mind that a narcissist will use every defense mechanism they have, to avoid this.

8) Being ignored.

Ignoring a narcissist means offering them no supply at all to feed their hungry egos. Without narcissistic supply, the narcissist experiences something similar to a slow death, or they believe they will. That’s the reason why some narcissists would prefer to be hated rather than being ignored, as negative attention is still a way of attention. When you ignore a narcissist, it’s as terrifying to them as being abused. Without your attention, a narcissist's self-esteem is destroyed.

9) Exposure.

If you blame a narcissist for their abusive behavior, you will make them very angry. Their fury may be expressed in rage or more covert ways like the silent treatment or gaslighting. They dislike being accused of the things they do to others as this means they should admit they are not perfect. This also means they must acknowledge the emotions of someone else, which they just can't do. Narcissists, of course, are aware of their imperfections, but just at a subconscious level. The way they handle this is by projecting their own flaws onto other people. So a narcissist may tell you that YOU are the narcissistic abuser. They also know how to get others to side with them against you. They will accuse you of having done things that they are responsible for, and everybody will believe them and not you.

10) Aging.

As narcissists age, they usually grow even more abusive (a very few might improve, but they possibly weren’t high spectrum from the beginning). That’s because aging means a loss of beauty, career, health, probably even a spouse (who offers a narcissist supply), and in several cases even financial solvency. These are all proofs to a narcissist that they are still admired and respected.

Somatic narcissists, who care more about their health or physical appearance haven't developed other aspects of their personalities that could be fallen back on when aging comes. That because the false self is just a flimsy one-dimensional construct. It is incapable of loving, committing, and other things that the rest of us can fall back on when we get old and not that healthy or beautiful anymore. If somebody has spent their whole lives only caring about their appearance, once that's over, what’s left?

Cerebral narcissists, who are more concerned with their intellectual ability or business acumen, might be able to hang onto those traits a bit longer. However, their minds will eventually begin to become less sharp. Also, they might need to retire or reduce the hours they work. Having to retire is a big blow to a narcissist whose whole identity is depended on their career and earning ability.

In both cases, a narcissist feels an almost total loss of supply. To avoid depression, they lash out and attack others. That’s why old narcissists are so frequently cranky and mean.

source and courtesy: thinkinghumanity.com

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